I See Christ

I love moments of stillness. The pause once the washing up is done. Walking to my car after work. The noise inside me stops in such moments, and there is a clarity, a peace. In the winding down, there is no rush into something else.

Quiet is so important. It’s easy to fill days with constant noise and distraction. There is always more content to consume, always more voices we could be listening to. But when I overindulge in other content, when I spend too much time on the go and taking in the noise, that’s when I feel my most weak. That’s when I feel my most overwhelmed. Because it means I’m not allowing myself to think my own thoughts. I’m not allowing myself to process my own situations and emotions. We need space to hear God, to ponder His words, and to clearly understand what He is saying to us.

I think we know, on some level or other, when we are not taking the space we need to live our lives well. I get a niggling in my heart when I’m watching tv instead of facing an uncomfortable situation or emotion. I know the difference between true rest and avoidance.

Of course, there is grace. And we do need true rest also; we can’t always be digging up the uncomfortable, unpleasant aspects of our lives. But when there is a matter pressing on my heart, and God gently calls me away to deal with it… He always shows up. And once I’ve been honest with Him, and with myself, and His goodness and healing have entered the picture – of course I feel better. Of course that niggling goes away and there is a new understanding of who He is and where He is in my life. His timing is perfect; if He is asking me to enter the quiet, then it is worth doing.

My schedule is emptier these days. With a new job I’m settling into, I want to give myself as much space as possible in the hours surrounding it. Yes, there are still times when I feel overwhelmed, but I am learning to see the Lord in all things. When I am sure He is leading my life, it is the best reminder that I need not be afraid of what I am facing or what is to come.

Starting a new job feels awkward; there are moments that feel clunky and strange and I just want to go home instead of trying so hard. But when that moment of being uncomfortable is over and I find myself with a slice of stillness, I see Christ. He knows uncomfortable like no one else. He knows pain and blood and grit. I see Him, and I am comforted.

The Lord brought me here, just as He will take me wherever else He needs me to go.

To pause, to be still. I want this more and more, because it means I can know Him more and more.

Sarah xx