Dear friend,
I have had many practical tasks keeping me busy in the last two weeks. Going through everything I own, throwing away and donating and organising. Cleaning a shelf once everything has been taken off, never to be placed there again.
I enjoy this kind of work. It is not too difficult. Maybe some areas seem more daunting than others (looking at you, kitchen cupboards), but for someone who has not cultivated an entire home of valuable items, the moving process has not been overwhelming.
As I said in a recent blog post, the decision to move came quickly. But God is here. There are so many unknowns which means I could worry a lot, but I mostly just feel hopeful and excited.
It feels weird to be “starting again”. But I feel ready for something new, whatever that looks like.
At the moment it seems like the possibilities are endless. So many different things could happen and I know nothing of them. But I also remember what I wrote in my January Newsletter, and how I said I wanted God to continue to walk with me, to continue the work He had started, more than I needed a fresh start. And it is still abundantly clear that, as exciting and hopeful and new as this is, I need God to hold my hand more than ever.
There is a lot I need to let go of here. I tell myself that this kind of work, the unknotting and unravelling*, the moving on and getting over, is not something I can methodically sort through in an afternoon like my clothes or books. I wish my moving boxes, all stacked to the side of the room, were metaphors. I wish it could be so easy to box up aspects of the past and get going.
As I look around and see empty spaces in every cupboard, I am aware that everything is changing. And maybe it’s been coming for a while and I just wasn’t open to it yet. But now I feel ready. (Which is good, because it’s nearly here.)
Sarah xx
Currently listening: All We Do by Oh Wonder
Currently reading: Julie by Catherine Marshall
the softest words 