I didn’t used to like asking questions, mainly in a school context. I didn’t want to be the person who asked the ‘wrong’ question when they should’ve known the answer already, which I’m pretty sure has happened to everyone. And it’s kind of terrifying.
But what I’ve learnt is to ask questions, and ask as many as you need to. If you don’t ask, you won’t get an answer. Instead of assuming the answer, ask and be certain.
Ask God, and ask God lots of times. Keep on asking, keep on seeking, keep on knocking. Don’t mention something once and be done with it; if it’s on your heart, you keep on talking to God about it. He already knows the desires of your hearts, so you may as well bring them out into the light.
I have numerous constant prayers. And I don’t intentionally say them every day or anything like that, but they come up frequently. And I know that He’ll answer in the right way at the right time. Sometimes it’s painful hearing that, but I honestly do believe it. Sometimes I think I’m ready for something and I ask for something expecting to get it just like that.
But in reality, God waits because He knows I’m not ready and I still need to journey more in that area. My biggest want in life is to lead worship, and I know one day I’ll get there, but I’ve also come to terms with the fact that that day isn’t going to be next week. Because though I’ve come a long way, I’ve still got to walk this path a bit longer until God answers that prayer of mine.
It’s like me and talking. If I keep everything inside and don’t tell people all that I want to, they’re not going to know. So I have to make myself talk so they know. I make myself ask so that I know.
God wants to answer us. For my devotions, I often go to Jesus with a question. Jesus, why do I respond badly in this area or Jesus, why aren’t I finding breakthrough in this area or Jesus, where were you in this memory or Jesus, how do you love me? And he always answers. And so I’ve learnt to go to Him with expectancy, rather than disappointment already brewing.
And sometimes I don’t get an answer. Sometimes I only get a partial answer. Sometimes I don’t get the answer I want. Sometimes I do go to God expecting Him not to answer. Sometimes I do need someone to help me hear God’s voice, generally if I’m praying with an idol in my heart or if there’s some blockage stopping me from hearing clearly. But I’m learning to ask God about such blockages and then He answers me and then I can ask Him the original answer and then He answers that. Sometimes it can take a week just to answer one question if this is the case, because you can spend so long processing an answer to a question about an answer to a different question. I hope that made sense. *shrugs*
God’s timing usually doesn’t make sense to me until I’m through whatever is happening and then I look back and *ding* the light bulb goes off as I realise why I had to wait, or whatever. So sometimes, I imagine, it can take ages and ages and ages before the full answer comes through. God could be revealing it slowly to help us take it in, to help us understand. As I said earlier, maybe it’s because we have to journey further into it before we can hear the full answer, because sometimes full answers will hurt, and especially if we weren’t in the right place to hear them.
So I’m learning to wait expectantly on God but at the same time trust in His timing but at the same time knowing that He wants the best for me and He wants to answers my questions because the questions we go to God with are usually very good questions with very important answers. (Such as why did I have to go through this or what do I do with my life. These are very good questions that I often want an answer for. So far, no full answers have appeared. But bit by bit, I know that God will keep me posted because they’re questions I know He wants to answer, I just have to trust Him with the timing. And I know that right now, it’s okay to not know what to do with my life.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7