Seeking and Finding

I opened a small notebook this morning, A5 with a pretty floral cover. It had been sitting on my bookshelf since I moved in fifteen months ago, wedged amongst Christian non-fiction. Some pages fell out. I had forgotten they existed.

During the height of Covid, when I wasn’t working and things felt impossible, I did two things. I stuck sheets of A5 paper to the wall of my built in wardrobe, and I kept a small notebook of Bible verses, quotes, and lessons learned from the Christian books I read at the time.

The pages that fell out were the ones that had been stuck inside my cupboard. Prayers and declarations of unity, protection and deliverance. Bible verses about standing firm. Prayers for those I loved, some of whom I no longer know.

Where I used to live, I was not comfortable. I learned lessons of contentment and joy in all circumstances because mine weren’t ideal. In rereading the quotes I had written in this notebook, so many speak to the contentment of looking after a home. The importance of knocking, of seeking, but also accepting when God’s answers are not the ones we’re looking for. So many quotes were teaching me to surrender all and say, Yes Lord. I want to know You, Lord. I want to live a righteous life regardless of the cost.

It feels like a lifetime ago. I wanted to hear most from that still, small voice. I learned of what is sacred, what it is to quiet ourselves and offer all we have to God. My uncertainties were giants but my faith was genuine.

May 2024 also be a year of knocking, of seeking. Of continuing to walk that narrow road. At the start of each day to say, Yes, I will do Your will today. To end each day knowing God was at the centre, knowing there is contentment in all I face because of who He is. Knowing Him is all I require. Knowing Him more is all I should be wanting.

I will seek, and I will find, and then I must do it all over again. May 2024 be a year that I do.

Sarah xx