Finding (and losing) Balance

Something that returns to me is the notion of balance. How I haven’t been writing as much because I have more commitments. How these are good things yet take away from time spent elsewhere. How I want to be connecting with others yet value being at home.

Generally I know in myself whether I have the energy to accept or decline a spontaneous invite. There are times when talking after Bible study is needed, and other times when the right thing to do is go home. Living on your own means the fridge needs to be stocked and dinners need to be cooked. The home requires care, our bodies require sleep. Jesus would go and pray by Himself… even if we consider ourselves extroverted – which I do not – it is still important to take that time. To pray. To worship and think and process.

On Friday morning I woke at 2 and couldn’t get back to sleep. At 3 I put the kettle on. At 7 I drank my second cup of tea for the day. While I don’t think I need to be waking that early every morning, I did feel like God was wanting to talk to me. The last couple of weeks have been busier, and while there are good things within that, I found myself putting aside how I was feeling. Pushing down what was frustrating or hurtful. I was not allowing myself the time to pray or process. (This is not sustainable!) Waking up and having that time to myself and for God felt like true rest (even though by 4pm my eyes hurt).

Part of me would like to rejoin the 5am camp. That slow morning feeling, no rush. I want to prioritise writing again. But I also don’t want to become so strict I don’t allow myself to connect with others after church or Bible study. I believe if we ask God, He will always show us the right thing to do… we know when we are doing something for the right reasons. If we ask and listen, we will hear His voice leading us onward.

Sarah xx