So much of what we do is simply… showing up.
How easy it is to dream of being a writer for a living, of having a book published under my name. But the writing itself cannot be done until I make myself sit at the computer and put in the hours. Of course, this time can feel ineffective; words can feel pulled out by force, and not very good ones at that. The waiting is difficult. The staring out the window and willing something to shift is difficult (or too easy, depending on how you look at it).
Caring for the home is also about showing up. If we are always running around, going from one place to the next without giving our space a second thought, it will not have a chance to invite, to warm, to replenish. If a home is simply a place to sleep, then the kitchen will remain cold, the dining room empty, and the living room uncomfortable. The bedroom will not necessarily be peaceful, or even a place we can sleep well in. The home requires our time. It needs us to show up.
I used to think working full-time would mean not having enough time. I thought it would mean rushing around, never resting, always trying to catch up. I thought I would not have enough energy to do the things that needed to be done, let alone the things I cared about.
How wrong I was.
Working full-time has focused my energy and intentions. It has given me a schedule to work with that actually allows me to spend my outside hours wisely. When we have a lot of time, we think we will get to it later. When you have less time, you understand the importance of doing it now.
I am reminded of the Sabbath, and how God did not intend us to have three or four days off a week. One, spent well, is enough.
I use my Saturdays to get things in order. Laundry, cooking. Things that need to be done every week. Saturday, whilst allowing me pockets of time to rest, are still for working. Sundays, on the other hand, are for church. Are for true rest. I enjoy writing and sewing on a Sunday (though of course they happen on Saturday, too). Having the Sunday is enough. God knows we do not need to be resting all the time.
There are some Friday nights when I come home from work and feel like there is not enough time to do everything. By the time Sunday morning rolls around, most of it has been sorted, and without rush. If I spend a Saturday completing tasks with contentment, my weekend is not ruined. In fact, I am all the more energised for Sunday because the work has been done. Doing one task generally motivates us to do another. It is when I am lazy, and over rest (though being lazy is not true rest, is it?) that I slump further into a lack of motivation and low energy levels.
Before church, I want to spend some more time sewing… it has not been too hot today, which is a nice change from the humidity of last week. The warmth is coming through and I feel ready for the week ahead. I do not need to do any more cooking until Wednesday, and my fridge is fully stocked. I have some new teas in the cupboard and a new plant to pot – though I think that can wait until tomorrow.
Sarah xx
These are the words that stood out for me: It is when I am lazy, and over rest (though being lazy is not true rest, is it?) that I slump further into a lack of motivation and low energy levels. Now that I’m retired, it gets confusing to figure out whether I’m resting or being lazy (or check all of the above).. Maybe lack motivation is the key . . .
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Thank you for your comment Julia! It is an interesting thing to ponder…
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