Femininity: Wholesome Living

Wholesome living, for me, is guarding our hearts and minds from vulgarity and impurity, that which does not glorify and honour God. Cultivating a feminine and wholesome life will involve turning away from some things that might be considered normal or successful to the world.

This past week, I have felt called from God to rid myself of what is not wholesome in my life, because, interestingly, these were things that were not serving Him. This is the perfect time to do so – a decluttering of the heart, if you will – as I am still in lockdown and am being less influenced than ever before by people around me.

Here are three things I have decluttered from my life in order to live wholesomely and love God.


// Gossip

The Bible clearly states gossip as sin. (Ephesians 4:29, James 4:11) While I have always known gossip to be – of course sinful, but not only that – damaging and negative on our spirits and unhelpful in relationships, I have not told people when I should that I don’t want to hear gossip. While there were instances when I would not join in, staying silent is still enabling and encouraging it, and if I am still listening to gossip, that is sin.


// Negative attitude

To live wholesomely does not mean to act happy all the time and be overly optimistic in every situation, but there is something to be said for an unnecessary negative attitude. I’ve been convicted that instead of being upset about something and then letting it go, I let the negativity linger and justify it by maybe sharing it with someone. This is not helpful, and is not the forgiving, grateful heart we are called to have.


// Movies, Books, Music

The content of what we watch, listen to, and read, can be so detrimental and unhealthy on our spirit. I know for me, I got away with certain things because “it’s not that bad” or “it’s only one scene or one word in a song”. But when I took stock of what content I consume, I was shocked at what I had normalised even though I read the Bible, which clearly states what is wrong and what is right in the eyes of the Lord.

I think it’s normal to give ourselves a line and we know we will never cross that line. This is good and helpful, and we should know where we won’t go. The problem with this, however, is when we hang out by the line and – sometimes without even realising it – push it further and further away from God.

I’ll give a personal example.

Last year I bought the series Friends, which almost everyone has heard of or seen. The show does not display anything sexually graphic, so I thought – good, I can watch it, it’s not crossing that line. However, this past week God made it known to me that while I have accepted it, He hasn’t. The show, among many other things, normalises sex outside of marriage and views it as a normal aspect of a dating relationship, as well as normalising watching porn, and even having characters encourage their partners to do so. I don’t agree with these things, yet I was consuming and supporting content that mentions it in every episode. While it can be a slow process, what we consume can change our thinking and our values. It can change what we accept in others and what we might even do ourselves. If I watch enough content that goes against my beliefs, isn’t it probable that my beliefs will change?

The Bible clearly warns us against all sexual immorality (1 Thessalonians 4:3, Galatians 5:19), and Friends, as one example, mentions and encourages nearly every sexually immoral act.

I’m not judging anyone. But this is what I have been personally convicted of recently, and I think it’s important to talk about, especially in a society where so many ungodly acts are accepted and even celebrated.

Getting rid of a large chunk of DVDs, books, and CDs made me feel so much lighter. I am not the judge of what you watch, listen to, or read, but I think sometimes we are so used to what we consume, we no longer hear God telling us that it isn’t good or pleasing to Him. And that means it isn’t good for us either! The boundaries He sets in the Bible, and what He warns us away from, are for our own benefit!


After writing this blog post, I realised it is not only concerned with femininity, but all of God’s children are called to live according to His word. But I’ve decided to keep it in the Femininity series, because living wholesomely is connected to living authentically, which is the heart of my femininity journey.

Today is a lovely, rainy day, and the moment I post this I’ll boil the kettle for a cup of tea, and then work on an assignment. I hope you all have a lovely day!

Sarah xx

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