On the days it is not raining, I am learning to lie down outside and let the sun melt into my skin while I read words that are not my own.
I haven’t felt stressed in a while, and as well as work and study I’ve been prioritizing things that bring joy. Gardening, writing, reading, walking, baking. But a few days ago I got the sense I was hurried somehow, rushing for no real reason. I think it’s almost an obligation to make the most of life. You know, to ensure I read all the books and write all the words and plant all the seeds. I felt overwhelmed in making sure I was happy and good and okay.
Which, mostly, I am.
But I am also aware there are things in my life that do not line up with God. There isn’t anything wrong with happy things, but I also don’t want to ignore where I still need to grow.
A few days ago I decided to pray and journal immediately after waking, when previously I had been reading the Bible before bed. I’m not saying I’ll manage this every day, but it was a good reminder to slow down and take the time to hear from God before anything else had captured my attention and effort. I don’t know why I find it so easy to be self-disciplined with uni but not the time I spend with Jesus.
This post isn’t about having an answer. I don’t think it even had a particular question. But it is to say, I am still learning and I like this process of growth. It is to say, I don’t have everything mapped out, but I don’t need to.