Even though my poems about God are not necessarily the most eloquent or polished, there is something beautiful in the words I write as prayers. How many times has a prayer time, Bible time, turned into writing a poem to convey my heart that I then offer to God? These poems may not be wonderfully written, but they are true and they are prayers and they mean something because they are unfiltered and real. They are my heart, they are my feelings, they are my true prayers. And Jesus understands them even better than I, and I believe He treasures them, too.
I love reading back through poems I’ve written in my times spent with Jesus. They all reveal something of the season I was in, or a struggle, and some remain relevant for months while others are evidence of a prayer answered. Some are filled with anguish, frustrated by my sin or lack of obedience to God. Some are filled with hurt, questioning why life isn’t fair. But always, always, they are reminders of God’s goodness: this is what I come back to.
No matter how much pain I am in, no matter how distressed I feel at the time, my poems, these prayers, are statements of God’s goodness.
I love the Psalms, and the biggest part of why I love them is that David, who wrote many of them, begins in such anguish but by the end remembers God’s goodness and love. David recognises that God is enough, regardless of his worldly circumstances.
I love reading the Psalms. I’ve read them all before, but I’m currently going through them again. They centre me. We all go through times when life is hard, and to read about someone who is going through that but still turns to God is necessary for my soul.
No matter what happens, I will always turn to God.
I do not always praise Him as intensely as David, though I like the thought of my spiritual life being that fierce, but I always turn to God and know that He is good. I cling to His goodness like a baby monkey. (I don’t know why I said that, but I like it, so it’s staying. Sorry if it ruined the moment.)
It’s hard, sometimes. I question God and my trust wavers. Sometimes I flop between praise and blame. Sometimes it takes a while for the anguish to turn to thankfulness. (Sometimes I am both anguished and thankful.) But I think the point is that I will always turn to God. The point is that I will always yearn for Him more than I yearn for the world.
The point is that He is my Father and Lord and He is completely deserving of all the praise I have in me, and more.
Sarah xx
the softest words 