I was driving today.
For about twenty minutes there was a long line of cars – me, in the thick of it – stuck in the overtaking lane. The left lane wasn’t as full, but contained some of the slowest drivers known to man. I debated hopping over to the left lane numerous times, but figured I’d rather be sandwiched in the somewhat faster overtaking lane – that was, admittedly, not going very fast – than stuck behind the slowest driver on earth.
It was one of those times when you’re not driving the speed limit, but constantly creep up towards it before suddenly braking and going back down. I still don’t know what the problem was; if someone was going 30 in a 110, why were they in the overtaking lane? How does this happen?
But the point of this story: the car behind me was clearly frustrated. At some point, it slid into the left lane, in between slow cars, before speeding up and sneaking in front of me.
That moment frustrated me more than anything.
Not enough to honk (I’ve never done that, makes me nervous sweat just thinking about it), but enough to hold up my hands in confusion. Because honestly; what’s the point? We’re all going slowly, not just me! Getting in front of me isn’t going to get you to your destination any quicker. I’m not slower than a turtle, the car that’s at the front of this loooong line is.
Writing about this is why I wanted to write about it: because I knew that when I wrote it down, it would sound as ridiculous as it really is.
Why was I frustrated about something so small, something that doesn’t even matter? I don’t want something like that to leave a lasting impression on me. And it shouldn’t. It has no real impact on my day or my life, so why am I acting like it does?
I still get shocked when I realise how many tiny, insignificent things affect me like this. How I give so many small things the power to change my mood or attitude. Why should something that’s not close to my heart impact me like it is? Why do I let it?
In moments like these, I’m aware of how human I am. I’m aware of how unaware of God I am. Because if He was the centre of my everything all the time, things that don’t matter… wouldn’t matter. Yet to me, sometimes they do.
Jesus was always looking to the Father. And I’m sure He wouldn’t get frustrated about driving under the speed limit.
Moments like these… are humbling. Are welcome. I love (well, sometimes) discovering pockets of where my life doesn’t line up with God’s heart, with Christ’s nature. It makes me aware, makes me sensitive, helps me learn and grow and pay extra attention to my life and to God’s life and to what really matters.
You know, I did enjoy driving today. I found myself praying more than I typically would on a drive. I found myself seeing God’s hand in the world around me. As I should.
Sarah xx
the softest words 