There comes a time when we have to stop and think about where we are. What we’re building, what we’re giving to, what we’re running towards.
I’ve been building my writing, giving to this blog. I found out yesterday that a magazine will be publishing one of my short stories, which is my second publication (a zine published a poem of mine late last year). Neither are well known, but I’m gaining momentum and taking steps, like a snowball rolling down a hill.
But I haven’t been running.
I hadn’t taken the time to stop and think about what was happening, so I didn’t consciously realise that not much was happening at all.
But I’m paying attention now.
Presently, I can give to my writing. I can keep this blog alive and I can submit as many pieces as I want to websites and magazines. But writing, whilst being mentally and spiritually fulfilling, isn’t practically sustaining. In reality I need a job or study, maybe both. Probably both.
So the timid life plan is to step into the world of study and fill the gaps in my schedule with metaphors and rhymes. I need to be running toward something, and writing isn’t going to get me there on it’s own.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but staying comfortable is incredibly easy to do, especially when the only other option is running into the foggy future wearing a pair of cheap sneakers from Kmart. But now is the time to lace up those bad boys and put thought into action.
In all honesty, I’ve never been an overly ambitious person.
I find myself jogging through checkpoints rather than sprinting toward an end-goal. I’m more inspired by grains of sand than money. I like inspiration more than motivation and I find it easier to stick with what I know. I’m not career focused and I don’t see that changing.
But now is the time for new things. Busier things, harder things. Scary things, unsure things. Good things.
I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I’m starting with ‘myself’.