One of my biggest fears in life is wasting it.
I don’t want to wake up as a seventy year old and wonder where my time went. I want to look back and see how I followed God’s instruction, messed up (because we all do), got back on track, followed my dreams, chased my calling, lived life as I should, fallen more in love with the Lord, grown in my identity as a child of God.
I’m moving in December, as previously discussed, and while I know I’ll need time to rest and reflect and breathe, I can’t do that all year or things will just go downhill. So I pray I find the balance of looking after myself whilst still pursuing a life other than ‘doing nothing’.
My wants right now are to teach. Study to be a teacher then become a teacher. I want a job before the study though, just to get some savings happening.
In whatever I do, I know I’ll find the time to play my guitar and write my blog. This blog may have started as a one-year challenge, but will become a two-year hobby (let’s take each year it’s it comes, shall we? Not that I see myself stopping my blogging adventures). Playing guitar may have started as a one-month challenge, but will become a lifetime joy.
So I know my wants, I just don’t know the execution of them yet. And I think that’s okay for now, so long as I don’t live the rest of my life thinking about my passions without pursuing them.
I want my life to be chasing what God has placed in me. I don’t want to be planning for the rest of my life, I want to be doing.
Sometimes, watching a movie can be super inspirational and make you want to drop everything and chase that thing, but in reality it doesn’t always happen like that. I think I need to constantly remind myself that my looming move won’t be a twenty-second segment with a funky soundtrack. It’ll be a hard, but good, transition that’ll take time. Finding something to do will take time. Making friends will take time.
(Although, maybe I can make a playlist and just constantly wear headphones so I can pretend to have my twenty-second movie moment. The only difference is it might take two months.)
I don’t know. Not much else is on my mind right now, not with one month left.