It’s time to pick up where I left off yesterday.
Being honest with yourself and others is just so worth it. This isn’t a blog post excusing bad behaviour, because what you say needs to be appropriate and in the right way, but it’s something that I’ve been learning, and learning for a while now.
One of the worst feelings that I’ve ever felt is walking away from a conversation thinking “I wish I had said this, and this, and this, and this, and this.” You beat yourself up about it and you wish you had just been able to get the words out, because they’re all in your head, and in your head they sound perfect. But they never quite get past that stage.
And if they don’t get past that stage, imagine all of the words that have been left unsaid; all the times someone’s done something to hurt you, and you just let it slide even though inside you really need to let them know. Or if someone’s done something to encourage you, and you never tell them that they’re amazing, and then they won’t know how much you care. Well, they might, because they’ll know you and they’ll know that you don’t say that much, but it feels so much better to get it out. Words are so important.
And yes, speaking can be scary as, I get it. And sometimes, to begin with, it’ll feel awkward, because you’re not necessarily used to it. But stepping out is going to be like that, but know that the reward is far greater than you not having done what you feel inside.
After having a conversation with someone where I was completely honest, I realized that was also one of our most comfortable conversations, because I wasn’t scared. And I said what I had to instead of leaving the conversation and over thinking everything.
Communication is so important. Because sometimes, the other person actually just doesn’t know. You might feel like they’re doing something on purpose, or that they’re being unreasonable, but it could come down to the fact that they don’t understand. They don’t know they’re hurting you, they don’t know your expectations which means they don’t know that they’re disappointing you. But if you’re being honest and open about everything, it gives them a chance to realize what’s up and what you’re going through, because they may not have known.
And knowing all of this doesn’t necessarily make it easier in the moment, because sometimes you’ll look at someone and you don’t want to tell them something because you don’t want to hurt them, or you don’t want to scare them away, or you don’t want to cause conflict. But there are some words that have to be said, or the situation will only get worse, because you’ll start getting all resentful and bitter inside, etc. It’s a slippery slope, campers.