The Art of Saying No

I don’t know if you remember, but I have a post that I wrote not all that long ago on doing what energises you rather than what exhausts you.

Well, it’s time to take my own advice, even though it’s hard. Harder than I thought it would be. Because the thing that I didn’t say in that other post, is that some people are really hard to say no to. Some people are charismatic, and you want to spend time with them. Other people are judgemental, and don’t understand why you don’t want to join. Some people you just really like, and you don’t want to let them down. Other people are controlling, and don’t like you saying no. And others just don’t really mind either way.

Whoever it is you’re saying no to, I applaud you. Because I know how difficult it can be.

I had to say no today, to several different things, but to the same person. And I really like this person. But I know that in three days, when the outings I’ve said no to are over, I’ll be thankful that I spent the time recuperating from my weekend and not losing my energy doing things that I’m not crazy about. I admit; I do want to spend time with people, because I love people, and I love building relationships and connecting. But you can’t have that all the time without burning out. And when I’m tired, I don’t cope well. You know you best, and you know what you should and shouldn’t do.

Saying no is difficult, we’ve already established that. And if you’re struggling to say it, I encourage you to ask yourself why. What’s going on inside that makes you want to say yes all the time? People pleasing, afraid of judgement or rejection? Wanting to keep busy, so you can’t stop and think about what’s going on?

I know that I’ll miss out on inside jokes and deep chats and lots of laughs tomorrow, because I’m staying home instead of going on their trip. But I know it’s what I need to do, because I’ve got sleep to catch up on and a to-do list to rock.

Whatever you’re doing tomorrow, I hope it’s because your yes was yes and your no was no,

Sarah xx

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