Think about it: if you’re exhausted, you can’t give as much. You can’t give out because you yourself haven’t had enough input into yourself.
This was actually a real struggle for me last year. Twenty-seventeen is my second year of living in this house, with all of these people, so this year I’m way more comfortable in saying ‘no’ to people, because I now know how to look after myself, and I’ve learnt that doing that is okay.
But last year. Twenty-sixteen, for me, was a year of learning a lot of things first hand, and sometimes the hard way. Today’s topic was one of those lessons, but by telling you about it, maybe you can avoid making the same mistake I did. Note, however, that I don’t regret my choices of last year. It was just a bumpy road at times.
Okay, here’s the deal: ‘yes’ was my favourite word, because I was a people pleaser, and I disliked conflict, and so I said yes even when it wasn’t good for me. I used to go out a lot on a Monday or Tuesday, which I absolutely loved, because it meant I was spending time with my friends and building those relationships, and I was seeing places I hadn’t seen before, because I’ve never lived in this area before. So I loved it; some of my best memories were made on these days.
The thing was, I didn’t leave room to do the things that I love doing.
I wouldn’t go outside and journal by myself in the sun, because I wanted to stay inside where everyone was talking, just so I wouldn’t miss out. I would do all-day activities when what I really needed to do was sleep in, because some weeks are just really exhausting. I am someone who enjoys going outside and walking in nature and one of my favourite places is the beach, and I don’t regret doing any of these things and spending time with people, because my closest friends are here, and they became my closest friends because I spent time with them. But I didn’t have a balance of spending time with others and spending time by myself. Even though I like walking, it tires me out, so when I had to wake up early to go to work the next morning, I couldn’t put as much excitement into my job, because I was tired. And when I’m tired, small problems seem very big, because I don’t have the energy to deal with anything. When I was tired, even my laundry had the capabilities to stress me out. Going to the beach is one of my favourite things to do ever (it’s up there with eating cheesecake and having spontaneous dance parties), but if I don’t have time to unwind afterwards, I’m tired, because going to the beach involves a lot of physicality.
So, what energises you? Really and honestly? For me, it’s having lunch with friends. It’s going for a run in the evening. It’s playing my guitar. It’s going to the beach. It’s reading a book. It’s lying in the sun on really comfy grass. It’s star gazing. It’s blogging.
I hope you take this post the right way.
You know, spend time with people. Do something spontaneous if you’re usually obsessed with planning (like myself). Go out of your comfort zone. Let someone teach you something new. Do things, and go and get tired, because that means you’ve had a day filled with stories of exciting things. But also remember yourself within that, and know that you can say ‘no’. And that’s okay. People get energised by different things. If you are energised by spending all day hiking, you go do that and you have fun, because that’s seriously awesome. But try to understand if someone doesn’t want that. And vice versa; if you’re more like me, try to understand why someone does want to go for a two day hike, and feel blessed that they want you to go with them.
I hope you found the time to do something that energises you today,